I could have done many different things as a career - I chose what I do because I love(d) it. I think many of us were raised believing that a job you love is not a job and we’re now grieving the loss of fulfillment that came along with doing something you love and getting paid for it. I spend far more time working for people I don’t know than I do with my family or my hobbies, and perhaps I was foolish enough to think I’d escaped from wasting my life doing something I despise. You are correct that we can all seek fulfillment outside of work, but for those of us that used to get it there it hurts, or maybe it’s just me.
I know things get worse before they get better - but some of us are at the point in our career where we likely won’t be around to see it get better again.
I think you're right. And no, it's not just you. You've tapped into something very central and animating about software as a craft, and the cognitive and psychological feedback that got most of those who are really good at it to be interested in it in the first place. I share your sense that we'll probably not be arounds to see what "better" looks like, if it ever even happens.
I know things get worse before they get better - but some of us are at the point in our career where we likely won’t be around to see it get better again.