I barely interact with people online. It’s here and email. And that’s it. I don’t have a web site, don’t have a blog and don’t have any interest in social media. 99% of the time I don't even have a brower open if I'm using the computer.
Turns out when you live that life there’s a lot of people out there who do the same. It’s easy to forget there is a completely offline world if you’re online all the time. I spend most of my time with them. In fact I’m about to go out to lunch with four people (age range 29-55) who are similarly offline. We arranged lunch over the phone.
I’d go as far as saying that the online world, past essentials, is actually the minority.
But weirdly you are on hackernews, an online community.
I also don't see how the phone can be better than online apps. Phone calls are really intrusive, it forces you to talk with someone when they want as opposed to being an asynchronous method of communication like Whatsapp.
[−]embedding-shape · 2026-10-11 Sun 11:18 UTC ·
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> Phone calls are really intrusive
I'm generally introverted but somehow prefer phone calls over the alternatives. I don't want to play the "lets discuss where to have lunch over the next two days, waiting for the person to reply / remember to reply" game many people using IM seems to like to play.
Instead, we do a two minute call, hear each other's voice, say everything that needs to be said, save the rest for when we meet. Done and done, then move on with the rest of life.
I don't see it as intrusive at all, even though again I'm introverted, instead I see it as something personal and efficient. Yes, it forces both of us to take time to talk to the other person, I don't necessarily see this as something negative, either way.
The calls are intrusive because a lots are not actually needed. You can send all the context needed in the first message and then I can reply with the exact answer later on.
I don’t mind if it’s something urgent or you need an answer now. Or just want to do small talk (very close friends). But if it could be a message, just send one.
I see phone calls as intrusive because the person calling you has no idea what you're doing and yet they're interrupting you. I stopped taking phone calls years ago when I realized that anything important enough to warrant an actual interruption can be expressed in a voicemail. 99% of calls I recieve, though, are terminated with no voicemail at all. That's when I realized I can just stop taking phone calls.
Of course your opinion is valid, but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
In any case, the people I chat with tend to respond in minutes, not days, so I don't have any anxiety about the conversation going on for a long time when we were trying to arrange something simple.
[−]embedding-shape · 2026-10-11 Sun 12:18 UTC ·
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> I see phone calls as intrusive because the person calling you has no idea what you're doing and yet they're interrupting you.
Not my fault you enable and allow this interruption. When I don't want to receive calls, I put my phone on total silence and ignore what's happening around me, until I feel I can be interrupted. Of course, there are situations where this isn't possible, but then I feel a text message is as disturbing as a phone call.
> but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
I think maybe we use "silence mode" differently on our phones. When I'm sitting and programming I turn off all notifications and generally "close myself in" in some way, so interruption isn't possible, instead of asking others to not disturb me I make it not possible in the first place. I still receive calls from others who aren't close friends, but I don't notice those until I'm ready to be a part of the AFK world again, and if it's important they'll call again.
You’re not wrong on phone calls. But you gain so more. A friend calls in tears - can you really feel that on WhatsApp?
I will note that we use WhatsApp for group calls.
I do actually miss having a desk phone and having the policy that calls are always urgent and emails are not. A bit of respect between people forms then.
Turns out when you live that life there’s a lot of people out there who do the same. It’s easy to forget there is a completely offline world if you’re online all the time. I spend most of my time with them. In fact I’m about to go out to lunch with four people (age range 29-55) who are similarly offline. We arranged lunch over the phone.
I’d go as far as saying that the online world, past essentials, is actually the minority.
Going offline is returning to normality.
I'm generally introverted but somehow prefer phone calls over the alternatives. I don't want to play the "lets discuss where to have lunch over the next two days, waiting for the person to reply / remember to reply" game many people using IM seems to like to play.
Instead, we do a two minute call, hear each other's voice, say everything that needs to be said, save the rest for when we meet. Done and done, then move on with the rest of life.
I don't see it as intrusive at all, even though again I'm introverted, instead I see it as something personal and efficient. Yes, it forces both of us to take time to talk to the other person, I don't necessarily see this as something negative, either way.
I don’t mind if it’s something urgent or you need an answer now. Or just want to do small talk (very close friends). But if it could be a message, just send one.
Of course your opinion is valid, but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
In any case, the people I chat with tend to respond in minutes, not days, so I don't have any anxiety about the conversation going on for a long time when we were trying to arrange something simple.
Not my fault you enable and allow this interruption. When I don't want to receive calls, I put my phone on total silence and ignore what's happening around me, until I feel I can be interrupted. Of course, there are situations where this isn't possible, but then I feel a text message is as disturbing as a phone call.
> but I feel like you're only talking about calls with people that are close friends, which is a tiny minority of calls I get.
I think maybe we use "silence mode" differently on our phones. When I'm sitting and programming I turn off all notifications and generally "close myself in" in some way, so interruption isn't possible, instead of asking others to not disturb me I make it not possible in the first place. I still receive calls from others who aren't close friends, but I don't notice those until I'm ready to be a part of the AFK world again, and if it's important they'll call again.
I love calls. The trick is you don't have to take it.
You’re not wrong on phone calls. But you gain so more. A friend calls in tears - can you really feel that on WhatsApp?
I will note that we use WhatsApp for group calls.
I do actually miss having a desk phone and having the policy that calls are always urgent and emails are not. A bit of respect between people forms then.